Real depiction of working people appearing for CAT

You have to read this. It’s a real depiction of working people appearing for CAT.

Preface

Dale Carnegie once said “If life hands you a lemon, make lemonade out of it”. Disastrous CAT exams have become an annual ritual for me. This time was no better. Rummaging through the debris for something good, all I could come up with is this narrative that brings out the lighter side of this insanely competitive exam.
So here goes the lemonade……

Act I : 15 happy days

As I opened my eyes on Saturday morning, I stole a glance at the wall clock. It showed half past seven. A moment later I realized that my 15 day leave for CAT had begun. I had vowed the previous night to be up at 7:30 every morning and study. My Saturday morning habits will have to change, I told myself. No getting up at ten and lazing around till noon. Unfortunately, I could never sit with a book all day long and study. I felt a sense of déjà vu as I reminisced the torturous PLs during Engineering days. So what started as “trying to study”, soon became “pretending to study” and before I knew it, “to hell with study”. Within a week of the “study leave”, I had packed up – all done and dusted. I felt a burden lifting from my shoulders and a sense of peace… akin to what Buddha must have felt when he attained Nirvana. I then proceeded to lead a blissful existence. I watched TV, caught up with old friends, read a few novels and slept a lot. I reveled in Lara`s and Mohd. Yousouf`s stunning stroke play. The bliss was occasionally marred by programs like “CAT Scan” ( on NDTV ). But it wouldn’t be long before I changed to Channel [v] for something more pleasurable. Days sped by.

Act II : The build up

A day prior to the CAT exam, the peace and bliss was shattered. A deluge of SMSes came forth. “Bell the CAT. Crack the CAT” they proclaimed. Some innocent souls even went on to say that I would get into IIM. I agreed with them as long as IIM meant “Indira Institute of Management”. I also felt a tinge of regret at the colossal waste of 15 days.
But a little later I was back to my shameless self. I imparted finishing touches to my “study leave” by watching Dhoni`s interview, followed by a couple of item numbers. Not a bad way to sign off, I thought. I dreamt of cats that night. But strangely, the bell was nowhere to be seen….

Act III : The MBA reality show

As I arrived at the test venue, I found myself in the midst of an assortment of characters. There were anxious faces, tense and nervous, a few pretty faces , and lo behold !! – a score of carefree and merry faces. I was in the majority !!
As you all know, ten minutes prior to any exam, toilets become the most valuable pieces of real estate. It so happened that the gents toilet was a bit “out of sight” , at the far end of the campus while the ladies toilet was at the ground floor of the building. Not sighting the gents toilet, some of “future MBA guys” trooped into the ladies toilet which was empty at that time. What started out as a small group, turned into a crowd of guys morbidly luxuriating in the ladies toilet. The girls dared not go anywhere near, and just looked on disgustedly and helplessly. I happened to spot a college official and told him about all the drama. Understandably, he was furious. He yelled at the guys and cleared them out in no time. The guys complained that the toilet was “too far away” and “out of sight” etc etc. They would make good MBAs, I reflected. If you can’t find your own toilet, use somebody else’s , and when it’s all over, blame the architect, the civil engineer and every damn thing under the sun except themselves.

Act IV : The exam

One of the worst things about this exam is the grueling “wait” . You have to be seated by 9:45. The OMR answer sheet is given out at 10:00. You then fill up your personal details. Then the question paper is given at 10:15. The actual exam then begins at 10:30. All through this 45 minute wait, all kinds of thoughts swirl inside your head. Will the paper be easy? Will it be sly and tricky ? or will it be disastrously outlandish that will leave me high and dry ? I hoped it would be the first, suspected it would be the second and prayed that it wouldn’t be the third . As I opened the seal on the question paper, I discovered it to be the second, but with my kind of preparation, it went far beyond the third.

The Aftermath

I returned home to a prolonged siesta and mulled over the reality of going back to office with the worst kind of Monday morning blues. It is said that cats have nine lives. I may need as many to crack it. I hope to be an MBA someday, if not a “Master in Business Administration” ,then at least “Married but Available”.

So ....... Was it close guys ????